Baking and cooking tips from the fat old man.  You want ta ask a skinny guy about food?  Go ahead what's he know anyway?

 Ya gotta make it,  if you need bread.
Why Not?  That starving artists and authors stuff is for the kooks, who needs it?

Read this first, and then make sure you understand it and have everything you need.
Then follow it.

If you need some of this stuff or all of it, your nearest super market should have have it.
"This Never Fails" if you follow the directions even just sort a close.

You need enough room to set all the bowls and things you need. A small counter top will do. You will also need a flat place to flatten out the dough, not much
about a two foot (about 2/3rds of a meter) square area.

Things you will need:

1 big spoon to mix with

1 tablespoon to measure with

1 teaspoon to measure with

1 small bowl big enough to hold 1/4 cup of warm water

with extra room for a little action.

1 larger bowl big enough to hold two cups of milk and all the rest of the stuff.

Finally 1 big bowl to put it in toward the last.

2 pans (you can do it with one) to bake the bread in.

1 knife to cut the slices with when it is done.
 

Ingredients you will need and how much

I tablespoon of Yeast

Warm Water 1/4 cup

Flour (about 6 and 1/4 cups)

Sugar 2 tablespoons + a tiny bit extra.

Salt 2 teaspoons

Shortening (or butter) one tablespoon

Milk 2 cups
 

In a bowl (that works a lot better than without the bowl).

Add I Tablespoon of Yeast (by sprinkling on top 1/4 cup of

WARM  (around 110 degrees not real hot)  Water.

Now sprinkle just a very little bit of sugar on top.

Stir it a little, or not as you like.  It don't matter.

Then set that to the side (out of any draft).
 

Next: Measure Two Cups of milk into that other (bigger) bowl add

2 tablespoons of Sugar, then add two teaspoons of salt.

To that add one (1) Tablespoon of Shortening (or Butter)

Next stir in two cups of flour.

Mix it up really good.                   
 

Then take that other bowl, remember the one with the yeast in it.

It should be all foamy and look like it is growing or something.

Pour that into the mix and mix it in good with all the other stuff.
 

Next thing is take that other big bowl and grease it on the inside.

Grease the bread pans you're going to bake it in now too. "Very Lightly"

While you're at it grease both your hands so they are a little slick
 

That is so the flour won't stick to you. After you have greased

that other big bowl and your hands set that bowl off to the side.

Set the baking pans out of the way for now too.
 

Here take a minute to spread a little flour out over that flat space.

You know the one I told you about way back at the beginning of this.
 

Now a little bit at a time add more flour to your mix use

your hands to mix the flour in with the other ingredients

(that's why you greased them) until it starts to look and feel

like it is almost dry.  Then you work it around a little more

put it down on that flat space.

Push it all down flat (if you have a rolling pin roll the dough with it)

at any rate spread it out.  If it is wet and sticky add more flour.

Add flour until it is not sticky and almost dry throughout the dough.

You don't want it dry on the outside and gooey on the inside.

You should play with it like this, roll it around, squash it down, round it up

(real bakers call it kneading) for about 8-10 minutes.

Then roll it all up into a ball and put it in the greased bowl.

Turn or roll it over once that gets a little grease on both sides.

Now cover the bowl or at least the dough ball with a damp

cloth or paper towel. Leave it sit about 45 minutes to an hour

or till it is close to twice as big as it was. Then take it and

divide it in half and squash it down flat and fold it and roll it

up to sort of make the shape you want your loaves to be in.

If there are any edges from your folding and rolling

try to make them come together on the bottom. That way the

loaf will be smoother on top and easier to cut into slices.

Put it in the baking pan and kind of shape it some more, when it

looks good to you cover it up with that damp towel again and leave

it alone for about another 45 minutes. (Oh yes here you should turn the

oven on set it at 350 so it is ready for bread.) Check on the dough and

whenever it is about twice as big as it was when you put it in the

baking pan stick it in the oven which should be at 350 degrees inside.

Leave it there about 45 to 50 minutes or until the top is golden brown.

It is done if you can tap on it and sounds kind a hollow.

Now when it gets like that, smelling good and golden brown.

Take it out of the oven and turn the bread pan on it's side while

holding it not to far above a counter or plate or bread board. The loaf

will fall out of the pan. Turn the loaf right side up. (Be careful it is hot.)

Leave it sit for a little while (yeah right) it is easier to cut when you do.

Cooler bread is easier to hold and cuts better.

Smile You Got Bread.
 

Go on get out of here!  Enjoy!