a

One morning years ago when I was a young service man in my early twenties, I had

returned to my ship.  Last night and too many nights before it had been what is referred to as

"party time."  Not however a free party, everything has a cost.  Every beat of my heart throbbed in

my head accompanied by an echo of pain.  My vision was blurry. My mouth was dry and felt

like I was  chewing on cotton. I think the cotton had been used about a week ago to clean out a

dirty brewers vat.  Not the best way to start the day.  A way none the less, with which I had

more familiarity than I care to discuss.  Standing in line in front of the coffee urn with several

others I waited my turn for a little caffeine and a chance to wash that "dirty cotton" taste out of

my mouth.  I wondered, not for the first time, if all the "fun" I had last night was worth it. I

seemed to recall being sick somewhere in the blur of half remembered, half understood scenes.

My reveries were suddenly interrupted by a sharp snarl of command.  Give me an #%*~ hand

with this!  Can't you see I need help?  I looked to see the cause of this loud noise and foul oath.

I was not surprised in the least by the ugly wrinkled face of a man who was number one on my

list of nasty people.  My boss.  He stood there clutching his coffee cup.  His other hand tightly

held the wrist of the hand holding the cup.  Still that hand shook and moved as though it

possessed a life of its own.  Despite his best efforts to stop it that beast would not be subdued.

I smiled inside as the show continued, hoping my pleasure would not show on my face.

The individual to whom the command had been directed turned the spigot.

I watched hoping to see the evil man suffer more as hot coffee splashed over the edge of the cup

and  on to his hand.  To my disappointment he was  dedicated to his cause of relief and it

didn't seem to bother him.  Well at least there was that much justice in the world my smug

thoughts consoled me.  He had suffered and looked like the rude idiot he was in front others.

I watched out of the corner of my eye as the man who  had engendered all of these uncharitable

thoughts sipped at the hot black liquid in his cup.  I saw the hand shake less, and the pained

expression ease, lines on his face became less deep.  At forty the man looked a haggard fifty

five.  My surprise at finding out his true age returned as I viewed this dissipated man.

How can anyone do that to himself I thought.  I am sure glad I am not like him.

At that moment the guy behind me said: "hey wake up."  I looked up to see that I had been

unconsciously moving forward and was now standing in front of the coffee urn. I put my cup

under the spout and reached for the handle to turn it on.  As I did I noticed with a mind bending

shock that my own hand trembled slightly.  My coffee cup shook ever so little.  A light seemed

to come on in my head.  I recalled from the dim past the biblical parable of the Publican and the

Pharisee.  That memory came as a surprise for I had never been farther from God and His

Gospel in my life than I was at that moment.  At least that is what I thought until I heard a voice

speaking inside my head say: "You are on the same road as he is.  You have just not traveled

down it as far."  There was no doubt in my mind as to what road was being talked about.

It was the road to ruin and to hell.  The comparison was the same as my own and the "he"

referred to was my boss; the man I so intensely disliked. What the voice inside my head was

telling me was there was clear.  There was no difference in what I was doing and what he was

doing, I was being just like him.  Just like the man I had been scorning and hating.

Gone was the smug superiority, now I could not help but wonder if I was heading my boss's

way in everything I was doing?  But I knew inside myself the answer to that question.  I

discovered too that I might have thought myself far from God but obviously God was not far

from me.  I was suddenly overcome with shame.  To realize that Almighty God knew what

I was doing and had done. I was not proud or smug any longer.  At that moment I made up my

mind to reform my life.  I would start by not drinking and carousing any more. The bars were

not for me.  It was a long road back and not without many places where I fell into the ditch.

The knowledge that the Lord was with me gave me the strength to pick my self up brush

myself off and keep on trying.  I could not bear the thought that my Lord had seen me in all my

wanton sins.  Still God had reached out to set me on the way back to Him.  My life and how I

looked at it changed drastically in that one moment in time.  I had once again seen a

demonstration that showed God knows and cares about we do.  Incredibly I had been shown

before and in an even more powerful way, but I had forgotten it.  That is another story of God's

great love.  I only mention it to show that we may forget, but that God does not. I am not a

special person.  I am just an ordinary person.  I still commit sins though I am trying not to.

God still cares.  God doesn't make mistakes or waste time or energy.  He sacrificed himself for us. 

He told us we are forgiven.  All we have to do is believe in him.  The love that Jesus Christ has for all of us

led Jesus to sacrifice himself for us even though He knew this world and all it's sins.  He knew all the sins

before we committed them, what an awesome love.   It is so awesome that I cannot begin to understand it.

I am, and will be, eternally thankful for it's saving power.  Miracles happen, even when we don't look for them.